la-ruiva:

me trying to put my life back together

la-ruiva:

me trying to put my life back together

126,894 notes

  • *hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
  • *gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
  • *heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
  • *a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
  • *taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
  • *gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
  • *tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me
  • *period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary

875,852 notes

me at the bookstore

  • me: no
  • me: i can't have you
  • me: stop staring at me
  • me: i have five books at home i need to read
  • me: you're beautiful but i can't
  • me: don't do this to me
  • me: stop
  • book: but baby i want you
  • me: ....
  • me: *buys ten books*

52,598 notes

hughvaljean:

how do you measure a year?

  • in cups of coffee
  • in cups of coffee
  • in cups of coffee
  • in cups of coffee
  • in cups of coffee
  • and
  • um
  • in cups of coffee
  • 525,600 cups of coffee

18,784 notes

saintoswald:

I…..don’t think…..this is correct

saintoswald:

I…..don’t think…..this is correct

1,180 notes

If you don’t have a crush on Ryan Eggold and James Spader after watching the Blacklist then you are clearly lying to yourself. 

408 notes

aseaofquotes:

William Goldman, The Princess Bride

aseaofquotes:

William Goldman, The Princess Bride

2,327 notes

onthe11th:

Damn, I never knew it was this simple.

onthe11th:

Damn, I never knew it was this simple.

54 notes